Ivories
“dear power metal bands
it’s important to use real pianos
I really can’t stress this enough
we play a low-stakes game
a trillion years ago power metal might have meant
a paycheck
now it’s craft for the love of craft
which means that if you’re going to do it
you have to be willing to bleed for it
or else why bother
those of us who respond to what you do
with hearts still keen to feel wonder in this world
are offended by these digital pianos
seriously
get a studio with a big honkin’ grand
and unleash your inner Liszts
put a candle on the damn thing
and let the wax drip
do the damn thing
do the damn thing all night
but of this patchy depthless grand-piano-setting style
let us hear no more
and meanwhile
tell your vocalists who think we don’t notice little autotune fixes
that I will have words for them
in Hell”
Thank you John Darnielle
